My First Blog Post: The Beginning of a Life-Changing Journey
I've been asked often if I have a blog. So, I’m going to give it a try. As a dyslexic human, this is no small task, so please be kind!
When I walked into the ACE Aware Nation seminar back in 2018, with a free ticket offered by my supervising social worker, I had no idea it would transform my life in every way imaginable. My foster child’s amazing social worker had already piqued my interest in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and introduced me to a fab Facebook group called "Connecting the Dots to ACEs." I had learned so much from this group and had already seen small changes in my child. Still, I was nervous. Should I even be here? Was I qualified for this? After all, I was just a hairdresser from Glasgow who had been fostering for six years—not exactly a professional.
As I parked and headed to the Armadillo building, I saw the others attending, all gathered outside. The queue was growing, and the rain was smirring down—typical Scottish weather, of course. Umbrellas were bumping. The doors were late in opening, and people were eager to get inside. A few folks started chatting: a social worker whose train had been running late and was thankful for the delayed and an early years worker who wasn’t sure what to expect from the event. We were eventually diverted to another building, only to be turned back again to the original building to finally get in. In the rush for seats, I managed to slip unnoticed to the very back, where I hid, feeling all of my insecurities bubble up as the empty seat beside me remained unclaimed.
Just as I was convincing myself I didn’t belong, a woman sat down next to me. We waited and waited some more. The event was running extremely late. Apologies were made, but the crowd stayed patient. A friendly conversation started between me and my neighbour, a social worker who had lost track of her colleagues somewhere in the audience. We talked about our hopes for the day, and through our conversation, I realized I knew a lot more about ACEs than I had given myself credit for. I shared links, groups, and info, and she was glad to take it.
Finally, two hours behind schedule, the lights dimmed, and the seminar began. To this day, I wonder if the delay was intentional—to spark those important conversations and connections.
It was wonderful. I sat in awe, listening to people whose names I had never heard before but who would soon become my beacons of hope and guidance: John Carnochan, Nicki Murray, James Docherty, Nadine Burke Harris. The information blew my mind. This was why I was the way I was. This was why my autistic child had trauma. I could now understand why my foster children couldn’t just stop certain behaviors. No wonder NO WONDER!!!!
I was gutted to miss Suzanne Zeedyk’s talk at the end due to the long delay. I had to get home—Steven was holding down the fort, and rush-hour traffic awaited me. I left with a heavy heart, carrying a bag of pamphlets and my programme.
Later that night, after the dinner, baths, and bedtime routines were done, I tried to relay bits of what I had learned to Steven. Flicking through the leaflets and programme, I wondered how we could change things. It was fascinating to understand ACEs and the reasons behind our behaviors, but how do we change them? I wanted more.
Then, as I scanned the back of the programme, I saw a name: BRYAN POST -THE POST INSTITUTE. He hadn’t been mentioned at the event, but I was curious. Despite being exhausted, I pulled out my phone and Googled him. Videos of Bryan came alive on my screen—his presence was glorious, and he was passionate about this parenting paradigm. His content was free and abundant. He mentioned something about "The Post Daily Dose, the best 10-minute parenting show on the internet," but I was too tired to explore more that night. I saved the links and promised myself to check them out the next day.
I went to bed, my mind swimming with everything I had heard that day. I felt hopeful but had no idea that my life was about to change in ways I could never have imagined. I was on the verge of a journey of self-discovery and healing. My family was about to transform from a battleground of meltdowns and yelling to a place of compassion and learning. More than that, I was about to find my life’s purpose. Everything my family and I had gone through had been leading to this moment, and it was all for a reason.
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This is just the beginning. There’s so much more I want to share about my journey into ACEs, trauma informed parenting, and how this knowledge has reshaped everything in my life. Stay tuned for more, and thank you for reading!
Check out my next blog post -From Chaos to Calm